Conference Agenda

Dialogical Self Theory (DST) supposes individuals are shaped by society and culture through spatial and temporal contexts. Referring to the multiple and diverse ways of relating oneself to the world is categorized by I-positions—or personal attachments one ascribes with. Mine, for example, include “I as Palestinian” “I as academic” and “I as activist”. Furthermore, DST assumes that although the self carries multiple and diverse I-positions, tensions and/or uncertainty invariably results when the individual is confronted with global and local conflicts (Hermans and Hermans-Konopka, 2010). I painfully watched Israel’s deadly military bombardment on Palestinian civilians in Gaza, and witnessed firsthand Columbia University administration’s hostile reproach toward its pro- Palestinian student-led demonstrations, I disconnected spiritually, intellectually, and psychically from myself. At times, I quaked at the thought of being associated with a university that didn’t uphold their civil and intellectual values, ethics, and philosophies. I observed students’ material consequences when they dissented and learned that those values were only applicable to some, not all. Other times, I feared expressing my Palestinian identity to avoid harmful confrontations or even kind, sympathetic platitudes. I encountered an extended period of wobble where expressing certain I-positions depended on context (Fecho, 2011). Through this wobble, I recognized that my personal dilemmas could be resolved with action and perspective change, or Bakhtinian moral answerability.

This presentation explores my story of a ‘rich life’ (Hermans, 2025). I begin by conveying tensions and conflicts between my Palestinian, activist, and academic I-positions from administrative consequences following student demonstrations between 2023-2025. Later, I reveal how I reached a meta-position, or acceptance when I de-centered myself from negative perspectives and behaviors of ‘self-orientation’ and repositioned myself with optimistic perspectives and behaviors of ‘other-orientation’ (Hermans, 2025). This breakthrough was supported through my research on the dialogical experiences of Palestinian students on campus

Who am I, why am I here and now? Am I worthy of life while so many fellow mates died to protect my beautiful country, Iran? This polyphony of voices ruled my consciousness as I witnessed Iran-Israel war in 2025, and further turbulent unrest early in 2026, resulting in national grief and rage.

Carrying my multiple ‘I’ positions, as a young Persian female living in Australia, an academic scholar in literacy education in the Western university, a spiritual contemplative person, a silent, observant middle child in family, and member of diasporic communities, I strive hard to navigate my conflicted and contradictory feelings and positioning. This presentation will unpack diverse chronotopic experiences through which my meta-positioning was de /re constructed. These span from attending senior leadership meetings at work, dealing with AI as educational crisis to embracing long silence from home due to lack of connection and tolerating too much noise from social media of different kinds. Similarly within the local communities, contradictory feelings of rage, hope, disappointment, revenge, and sympathy were overflowing. This all made me wonder ‘what is my moral response’ to these scenarios, and voices.

Inspired by Herman’s conceptualising of contradictory selves (2025) and searching for harmonious self, I pondered on how I may arrive at democratisation of the self and thus society in the self (Hermnas, 2018). This vision was fortified by our spiritual Persian poet, Rumi, who urges us to light up our own candle even amidst darkest storms as the only way to permeate light to others. Thus, with no guilt, despair or sense of passivity, I argue how I translate my feelings into cultivating peace literacies in my teaching, research and leadership. I offer implications for why the dominant discourse of ‘well-being’ needs re-envisioning toward a more holistic and global trauma-informed pedagogies and practice.

I listen to more political podcasts than ever before. I want to understand the polycrisis and how we got here, though in my position repertoire, the I-position Activist seems to be missing. Dialogical Self Theory (DST) has allowed me to face personal crisis and loss, but I don’t endeavour to apply the theory to engage in politics.

I learned early about danger and war. I was born in the Netherlands and immigrated to Canada in 1975 at age five. My parents had survived WWII in Amsterdam as children. As an adult, my father feared the Russians would march into western Europe. My mother learned firsthand what to say and what not to say to survive the home searches of the occupying German forces. Her father was a prisoner of war in Poland. She taught us, her four children, how to stay safe. The rules are clear: don’t identify yourself with groups that push political agendas; don’t wear a sports Jersey from the competing team; don’t post your ideologies online.

Hence, I don't have the risk tolerance to fight the fight “out there” but I do it “in here” instead. Is this a lack of moral courage or a reluctance to help the world? Jung said that to remove one’s shadow from the collective shadow is a valuable contribution. In this vein, I argue that the I-position Activist can be internal. That its message is “don’t give others a piece of your mind but instead give them the peace of your mind – and the peace of their own minds.” In this panel I speak about how the “writing the self” method allows us to give voice to the I-positions we choose to mobilize in this polycrisis, while not silencing contradictory ones.